I'm not sure when or how but I have. It's been recent. And the thing is that it's for the better. Most change is. Why then, do we hate change so much? Because I know that I certainly do.
It's kind of like working out. I dread doing it. I put it off, or just plain don't do it at all. I don't know why, because when I do work out, I really enjoy it and I feel awesome. Not saying that sometimes it doesn't hurt, but the end result is worth it. That's what change is for me.
My transformation has recently been called to my attention. And by recently, I mean like five minutes ago. I have always been more self-aware than most people, but for some reason I'd blinded myself to the entirety of my metamorphosis if you will. But once I realized it, I don't know how I missed it.
-I like Taylor Swift.
If you know anything about me, you know that I used to harbor a deep hatred for her music. However, slowly, she's crept into my life. And I've decided not to fight it. I know some people will judge me, and others will stand up and applaud the fact that this hopeless romantic finally stopped fighting the sappy music that her soul so desired, but whatever, I don't really care.
-I love Nick Jonas.
I don't think this is a surprise to anyone. I've recently started introducing myself to people by saying "Hi, I'm Kirsten, I love Nick Jonas." It's a 180 from the Kirsten who hated the Jonas Brothers for no apparent reason. No, it's not the highest quality music, but that doesn't mean that they should die. But back to Nick. Seriously? Have you seen him?
Kind of a stud. And by "kind of", I mean, 100% and completely, and by "stud" I mean the most beautiful creature to ever walk the earth. And have you heard any of his Les Mis stuff? Please don't tell me that he's not talented. He's the Jo Bro with the skills and the talent, and he totally knows that the whole Disney Charade is a joke. You can see it in his eyes.
(Ok, I did a search, looking for one of those imfamous pictures where you can tell that Joe and Kevin are taking it way too seriously, and Nick is just like "these guys..." but I came up with this instead.)
Shall we examine this? We'll start with Kevin. Sweet little Kevin. He's so earnest. He's usually the background of my phone, because of the ridiculous faces he makes, that amuse me so. Sometimes I watch his antics and wonder, "What does his wife think?". Does she find it endearing? Is she embarrassed? Does she choose not to pay attention to Camp Rock 2? Because I would if I were her.
Let's move on to Nick. Beautiful, beautiful Nick. Look into his gorgeous dark eyes. You can see it all there. "Hey guys, would you like so coat tales to ride? Yeah, I made these guys." He's 100% aware that the whole Disney thing is just a place holder. A place to get his extremely talented foot in the door. He's just waiting, and slowly building up his Administration, so he can take over the world with his skill... Ok, maybe not that far, but you get the idea. I could continue talking about him, but I'll refrain. You're welcome.
And now, the main event. The thing that makes you laugh harder than you've laughed in a long time. Joe. Oooohhohohoho Joe. First off, why? Why are you looking in the mirror like that? And on top of that, why is there a mirror in this picture? Who decided that it'd be a good idea? "Hey, let's put a mirror in this picture, and have Joe look at himself in it. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."
Wow. Tangent. In the highest form. I should win a medal or something.
But anyway. Back to what this is actually supposed to be about.
You can judge me, or whatever but I really don't care. Because what I think I've realized is that I'm ok with myself. I'm cool with the fact that I enjoy Taylor Swifts cheesy, girly music. I'm cool with the fact that I have a crush on a Disney star. And the thing is that if I can be ok with those things, I can be ok with a lot of things.
I'd recently been frustrated with myself, and my apparent inability to attract male attention. Or, rather my inability to attract a guy who isn't totally the opposite of what I want. People have been entering first-quarter-of-college relationships, which in my opinion is one of the dumbest things ever. And despite everything that I knew, I couldn't help but feel like there was something wrong with me. Like the fact that a guy wasn't on his knees professing his eternal love to me meant that I was a romantic dud.
But hey, I really enjoy being single, and for the first time in a long time, I'm happy with myself. But the thing is that it's taken me a while to recognize that in myself. Would I like someone to like me, or think I'm pretty or that the sun shone out of my ass (goodness I adore that movie)? Yes, I think everyone wants that. But I don't need it. I'm good with myself, and so I'm going to wait for something and someone truly remarkable to sweep me off my feet. Yes, I just used that phrase. Someone whose smart and funny and loves the Lord and I honestly wouldn't mind one tiny bit if he looked a little like Nick Jonas.
Ok, that was like word-vomity. Sorry. Sometimes you gotta clean the pipes.
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