Feathers

When I was a little girl I was obsessed with Indians. Like, really obsessed. I knew everything about certain tribes, there was a tipi in my back yard and on more occasions than I care to admit, I would smear berries on my face and run around with spears that I carved myself. It was actually quite lovely.

Naturally, being the obsessive creature that I was/am, I had a costume. It was polyester but I would swear to people that it was deer skin. I would braid my hair and looking back, I made a pretty convincing little Blackfoot. One day, I found a feather in my back yard. Being singularly minded as I was, I taped it to a head band and walked around like Princess Tiger Lily for the better part of the day. That is until my mother saw me. What happened next shaped my world view in ways I can never fully understand.

Because to this day, I believe, wholeheartedly and fallaciously that if you touch a feather, you will suffer a horrible death.

Because feathers carry diseases.

Because feathers don't just carry normal diseases, but deadly, wretched, soul eating diseases that will ostracize you from normal society and force you to die alone, naked, in a ditch, in debt, eating off your own hand.

Now, in reality she probably just threw it away and told me not to touch feathers anymore. To be 100% honest, I don't remember it that well, but the reaction that it caused in me leads me to believe that her response to the feather was greater than what is characteristically normal for her.

To this day, I won't touch feathers. I even tried an old writing quill once at this random festival and I had to wash my hands like five times before I could eat.

So when people started putting them in their hair recently, it did not go unnoticed.

It actually took a while for me to figure out why I hated the hair feathers so much. There are a lot of trends I don't like, but very few that evoke this strong a reaction within me and it took most of the summer to figure it out.

I just don't understand it. I don't think it looks good. It's just like a random thing hanging from your head. It doesn't add to a look. It is obviously not naturally there.

But above all that, it's the fact that every since I was a little girl, it was drilled into my mind that feathers are dirty, gross and carry diseases. Touch a feather and you will catch the black death, small pox and scarlet fever all at once.

But beyond that irrational fear, it really just makes me curious. How do you wash your hair with it? That's what I really want to know.

Also, is it a real feather, or some synthetic material?

Hopefully it'll just be a summer of 2011 thing. Something upon which we can look back and laugh.

"Remember when everyone had leprosy hair?"
Good times.