Unity Sand

Recently, a lot of people I know have been getting married. Not really super close friends, but about 10% of the people that I casually sort of kind of know have entered or are about to enter into the bonds of matrimony.

I've crept through wedding photos, and it didn't take a great deal of deduction to see that there's a growing trend in weddings.

Unity sand.

Back in the day, the thing was unity candles. Two flames were brought together to form one. The symbolism is pretty clear. Two people joining their lives together, to create one burning flame of passion and eternal love. There is a 94% chance that your parents had one of these.

I mean, there hasn't been a huge eradication of the unity candles, but at some point in the mid 2000's some unanimous decision was reached, by the trendy wedding council that candles were out, and sand was in.

The idea is cool. Two jars of sand are poured into a larger jar. I dare you to try and separate that sand back into its original jar.

Then I guess you keep the sand in your house on a pedestal or something. I'm not really sure.

As popular as this sand thing is, I'm getting the impression that it's time will soon be up. It had a good run, but most people seem to think that it's over used. So I'm predicting that in ten years people will look back and be like "Yeah, sand. That's so 2000 and late." I'm cool with this. It's not like I grew up picturing a perfect white dress and a jar from Hobby Lobby filled with colored sand. There's just going to be a void. And I have taken it upon myself to trail blaze new tangible representations of eternal love a unity.

Cement Hand Prints of Unity: This is good on a couple levels. One, you can't make hard concrete soft again, therefore symbolizing your eternal commitment. And two, you can keep the hand prints in your house as a modern art piece. That's how you start a marriage right.

The Burnt CD of Unity: I'm not really an expert on how CDs work, but I'm pretty sure that if you burn a CD, it cannot be made blank again. So during the ceremony, the Bride and Groom can put their favorite play list of songs that "just feel like they were written about us" into disk form. Additional bonus: That CD can then be used on the honeymoon for setting the mood if they so choose.

Permanent Black Hair Dye of Unity: That stuff does not ever come out.

Jello Jigglers of Unity: Jello is one of the most peculiar substances on earth. You can literally not make it a liquid again. So during the wedding, while your sister is singing a song and your cousin reads 1Corinthians 13:4-7, you and your spouse can walk to the alter, and start making jello. He pours the boiling water, she adds powder, they both stir and add the cold water. Then they walk, hand in hand, to the kitchen in the church, put the jello in the refrigerator, and wait till after the reception. Then they can eat it on their honeymoon to solidify they're eternal love.

I look forward to all of these ideas being featured in wedding blogs within the next ten years.