Sleeping in Water

A few weeks ago, my best friend of ten years and I birthed a genius idea. And, like most great ideas, it was conceived in a body of water.

Ladies and Gentlemen, with out any further ado ...

Sleeping in water.

Now, I know that it's the name of the post, so it's really not the grand reveal I had hoped for, but let's look past that technical error and focus on the awesome.

Think about. Have you ever done the dead mans float that we were all so ill advised toward as children. You know, when you float, back up in water. Try it kids. It'll terrify your parents.

But, if you understand my point of reference, you know how incredibly comfortable it is.

Now I know there are some issues to work out, like the whole problem of getting oxygen to your blood stream, but we worked around that. Emily and I ultimately came up with a comfortable face mask that will have access through a tube to an outside oxygen source. A little complex, but you don't revolutionize an entire way of life without making some crazy choices.

Because that is what this is. It's a revolution. Seriously, if you really think about it it would change your lifestyle. In theory, you'd have more energy, more focus, and world peace would finally be obtainable.*

*None of these theories can be proven scientifically.

So basically we planned that there would be a sleeping chamber in a bed room. You know how in scifi movies where the evil scientist has his experiment floating in a glorified fish tank. Yeah, it's like that but without the whole creepy part.

It was a really solid idea. I was already working up the prototype.

But then, as it would turn out, my plan was, once again, foiled.

There were a lot of commas in that last sentence. I'm not entirely sure if it's grammatically correct.

BUT! Back to all my ideas being awful.

Upon taking a dip in my hot tub with my sisters and local recluse, (And by local recluse I mean neighbor kid. It's funny if you know Eben. I promise) my hands became so incredibly pruned beyond all recognition, that it was painful.

I got out of the water and my hands were suddenly on fire. I didn't know that such pain could come from something so incredibly inoffensive. My hands have never been pruned this bad. Like, I got out 45 minutes ago and they're still stinging.

I'm not particularly scientifically minded, but I'm pretty sure that your skin shouldn't be exposed to water for an extended amount of time.

Has anyone else ever had this problem? Like it feels like your skin is going to fall off. Or maybe that tiny holes are being burrowed by tiny demon bugs and being spat on by a camel. It's not terribly pleasant.

And, with a soul searing pain, of both heart and hand, I threw away my dream of revolutionizing the way the world sleeps.

Rest in peace little idea. You never really had the chance to grow and spread your wings. You will be missed.